insights into how weird my mind is
Jun. 29th, 2011 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
laleia1. Sometimes when I think back to embarrassing things I did in the past (oh my GOD there are some people I don't think I can ever meet face to face again), I try to remember that it's better to have made a smaller-scale mistake back when I was younger and learn an important lesson from it, than to potentially make that mistake on a larger scale in the future, in a more important context, with more far-reaching consequences.
(It only helps some of the time. There are some people back in my hometown that I sincerely hope I never run into again. Because at one point in my life I thought it was a good idea to confess every single crush I'd ever had since elementary school and put it up on my then-public blog. This is a bad idea and you should never do it.)
2. I was reading the tumblr bio of an acquaintance from a long time ago, and got to "PhD in nanomagnetism" and my heart (stomach? ovaries? libido? whatever organ people refer to nowadays) did a little flutter. I find intelligence so attractive ...
3. I have been reading a lot of Louisa May Alcott (not the Little Women series; her other ones) which are like out-of-date moralistic tales, and the lesson I have gleaned from them is that if I make friends who are the kind of people I want to be (smart, hardworking, passionate about progressive politics, eloquent, etc.), then I will work hard to be like them and can improve myself accordingly. While I did have a lot of amazing friends, we are now all scattered across the globe and soon I will have to make new friends and you know ... I kind of dread it.
Because the problem is, it's always fairly easy for me to make friends with people at the outset (actually, that is a lie, I have HUGE difficulties meeting people, but after meeting them, I can get to know people and move into acquaintance territory without too much difficulty), but it's always hard to know how things will pan out. There are so many people I got to know and thought I would be good friends with, but after a few months, we ended up drifting apart or not working out as friends, and it is so hard and so rare for me to find those actual close friends. It took me months and MONTHS to find my niche in college. I don't want it to take that long in law school.
(It only helps some of the time. There are some people back in my hometown that I sincerely hope I never run into again. Because at one point in my life I thought it was a good idea to confess every single crush I'd ever had since elementary school and put it up on my then-public blog. This is a bad idea and you should never do it.)
2. I was reading the tumblr bio of an acquaintance from a long time ago, and got to "PhD in nanomagnetism" and my heart (stomach? ovaries? libido? whatever organ people refer to nowadays) did a little flutter. I find intelligence so attractive ...
3. I have been reading a lot of Louisa May Alcott (not the Little Women series; her other ones) which are like out-of-date moralistic tales, and the lesson I have gleaned from them is that if I make friends who are the kind of people I want to be (smart, hardworking, passionate about progressive politics, eloquent, etc.), then I will work hard to be like them and can improve myself accordingly. While I did have a lot of amazing friends, we are now all scattered across the globe and soon I will have to make new friends and you know ... I kind of dread it.
Because the problem is, it's always fairly easy for me to make friends with people at the outset (actually, that is a lie, I have HUGE difficulties meeting people, but after meeting them, I can get to know people and move into acquaintance territory without too much difficulty), but it's always hard to know how things will pan out. There are so many people I got to know and thought I would be good friends with, but after a few months, we ended up drifting apart or not working out as friends, and it is so hard and so rare for me to find those actual close friends. It took me months and MONTHS to find my niche in college. I don't want it to take that long in law school.
