Dear Laptop, I Hate You

[laleia]

Dear Laptop:

Our relationship was fine while it lasted. I loved you when I first got you. I was so excited to have a laptop, that had so much memory compared to the 18 GB of harddrive space total on my desktop computer. I was going off to college with you, and I was so looking forward to our time together.

You've served me relatively well in the intervening years, dearest laptop, and I loved you for that. Even if I gazed enviously at other laptops' 80GB or 120GB harddrive, even if other laptops were lighter, more portable, faster, with flashier accoutrements, I would have remained loyal to you. For all I spoke enviously of others, I was more than willing to remain true to you for 4-5 years, through college and beyond.

I brought you to China with me, changed my torrenting habits to streaming habits for your sake, even pimped out a good friend on the off-chance she might know someone who could fix you back when you were ill.

And how have you repaid me?

You broke down, and when fixed, you broke down again. Your power cord faltered, then your power jack, then your screen. I spent $120 on you because I had faith that you could last out a whole year yet, and instead you threaten to break down on me a mere month later. You give me panic attacks, make me want to cry, tell me my recycle bin is corrupted. You're not only provoking me into laptop-related panic attacks, you're provoking me into "Am-I-going-to-have-a-job-after-I-graduate?" future-related panic attacks.

The worst part is those precious days of hope, when everything seems to be working well again. I tell myself, If I turn off my laptop every 4 hours and wait for another 1.5 hours before turning it on again, maybe it will work. I say, As long as I save all of my documents all the time, it shouldn't matter if I have to suddenly restart because my screen went black. I delude my self, Hey, it's working now, so maybe I imagined the problem earlier! And those moments of delusion are what make the bitter despair worse, when you show your true colors.

I think this qualifies as an abusive relationship.

Well, I'm here to tell you it's over. My external is coming in the mail any day now, and soon, soon, soon I shall find a newer, faster, more durable laptop that will last longer than a measly three years and isn't liable to die on me halfway through finals week. I started looking up laptops on Amazon and everything. So there!

Signed,
Me

Comments

[darklightluna.livejournal.com]

1. Can't stop laughing.
2. You have my laptop, feel free to use it while I'm gone - just don't let it over heat.
3. Actually, could you take the Sims 3 CD I left in it out please? I fail at life. Password is the same for both my laptops.
4. Seriously, there's is falling over.