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Sherlock Holmes:

So it would either be the Sherlock Holmes 2009 movie or the Sherlock 2010 BBC series, and it would basically be about how Watson sleeps with his wife/girlfriend Mary/Sarah as well as Sherlock because both love him and this is some sort of open relationship thing, and how he angsts about this because he gets twice the sex and they only have half the sex! Surely the sex imbalance is unfair!

So Mary/Sarah gets tired of his self-effacing whining and agrees to a tryst with Sherlock if it will ~assuage his guilt~ and so then he persuades Sherlock to agree, and Sherlock is super disgruntled and not happy about this but finally says yes because Watson cares so much about it.

Then Mary/Sarah shows up for the sex and goes, "By the way, let's just pretend we got naked but I wasn't interested in you and it never happened. Now stop bothering me, I have work to do." Because she just wanted to make John happy and she doesn't actually want to have sex with Sherlock.

And then Sherlock is offended because he thinks that he should be the one who couldn't get it up because he wasn't sexually attracted to her! Because he is a perfectly fine specimen of manliness and there is no way John would buy that she didn't find him sexually interesting at all.

And then they have a very loud argument and then I have no idea what happens. Angry sex? John bursts it and admits that the real reason he wanted them to have sex was not because he felt guilty but because he wanted to be voyeuristic and watch? They agree to both say neither was interested in the other and sex didn't happen? I don't know, and the whole point of this being a fic I will never write is that I won't HAVE to decide.

--

Circle of Magic AU:

Sadly, I don't have the time to worldbuild and plot this much less write it, but I have been entertaining the idea of doing my own epic Circle of Magic AU in modern times for a very long time. I had it all planned out!

You see, they'd all be at Winding Circle University. And I would age them all up and my reasoning was this: the books are set in pseudo-ancient times and it starts when they're like 10 or something. In real life, in pseudo-ancient times adolescents and teenagers and 10-year-olds had an awful lot of responsibilities and stuff on their plate. I mean, this is when girls got married at 14 and stuff to have kids because people really only lived to 30 or something. And at that age they were DEFINITELY working hard for their family, whether doing an outside job or just doing grueling chores because they did everything by hand.

My point is, if you put the CoM crew in a modern-day high school, hardly any modern-day high-schooler would face the same level of day-to-day responsibility that a child of the same age in Emelanverse might. So that's why I put them in University, because at least they would legally be adults (most likely) and the responsibilities they might closer in weightiness to the responsibilities they have in CoM.

I'm in two minds about how the whole Discipline thing would turn out:

1. They're all younger student (~16-17) who were early-admitted to college because of high aptitude and special circumstances (based off similar programs at my university and at other universities) and because they're younger, they have to live in a special dormitory because it would be folly to sick non-legal-adults with alcohol-imbibing-of-agers.

2. They all had egregious roommate conflicts and needed to switch out of housing and all ended up switching into Discipline. Or Discipline is some sort of special housing for kids in special circumstances so Sandry stays there because she's nobility, and the others transfer in because of roommate conflicts.

Neither circumstance is super-canonical but similar enough and still realistic enough.

And Lark and Rosethorn would both be Faculty Masters! Those are members of the faculty that live in a dormitory so students have a professor mentor to look through. And they are BOTH there because of course they live together. But in my story they would also be like R.A.s and Resident Coordinators and basically every other function that a dormitory might need. And Moonstream is the Dean of the University! And Niko is the professor who travels a lot to conferences and also recruits potential students? Not super sure yet.

Anyways, Sandry would be studying political science, but she takes textile elective classes (i.e. weaving) and really wants to go into fashion, only she knows that someone like her does not go into fashion when they could be ruling the world. I don't know if I'm going to make her actually nobility, or just from a family where everyone goes into politics.

And Briar would be studying botany, of course, and he comes from ~the streets~ but I have not yet figured out how that would play out in a non-stereotypical manner.

I have Daja studying chemistry (because that's apparently the closest I could think of to metal?) with a hobby in art that has to do with metals?

I had some thinky thoughts about Briar and Daja's racial identities but I don't remember most of them now. I think Briar would have to deal with the "poor street kid" stereotypes and the racism around that is what gets him kicked out of his original dormitory (much like in the original books). Daja ... I wasn't sure what kind of modern-day analogue Traders might have, but I thought she'd deal with "perpetual-foreigner" and "exotic" stereotypes because that's some of the baggage she deals with in the books, coming from a different culture with a different language, esp. a culture that is frequently looked down upon.

And Tris would be studying everything because she doesn't know what she wants to major in yet.

And because I have no idea what the plot would be, that is why this is never getting written.

--

White Collar:

So basically I just have the idea for this fic that I'm sure has been Rule 34'd somewhere, where Peter and Neal have sex under Elizabeth's watchful eye, and she is the person in charge of the entire scene, and she gives them instructions on what to do. Like, she orders, "Now loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt. Slowly. Neal, remember. You're not allowed to touch unless I say you can" and tells them what to do exactly and they obey. And basically it would just be OT3 fic where Elizabeth tops everyone.

But I don't write porn and so this is not going to happen.

This is what I did write of it, though:

When it happens, both of them turn to look at her for permission.

Elizabeth tilted her head, looked in them in the eyes, and allowed a slow, catlike smile to cross her face. She nodded, and leaned back in her chair to watch the show.


--

I should actually unload some of my super-old WiPs, actually. I have umpty-billion unfinished Sailor Moon fics on my harddrive that will never get written because apparently my Sailor Moon muse died.
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