Here, Have A Post

[laleia]

I should preface this post by saying I'm not quite sure why I'm making this post as most people who bother to read this are RL friends who already know, but I'm hoping that articulating everything that's going on in one place will be like a new and improved form of meditation.

So. This is where I'm at right now.

Right now, darklightluna and I are competing at competingwords to see who can write more words by August 10th. Right now, I am winning but I think this is because she has secretly been writing and not posting her word counts and will surprise me with a bazillion words. Considering she is essentially away from her laptop all this week and I should have been able to take advantage of her absence, write a lot, and make a full-blown lead, my lead is very, very small.

I'm not really sure why I haven't been writing lately. (Not writing is bad because I want to write fanfic for the Bujold fic_fest coming up and it's not happening, and also I would like to sign up for other fic-fests but can't do that in good faith unless I'm actually, you know, writing.) I think this week must have been particularly busy because I am behind on my lj flist as well, but I can't think why unless it's because I started my internship this week.

So I finally got an internship and started it this past week and even though it is problematic in many ways (namely: am only working here two days a week for a month, the whole thing is unpaid, costs $5 by bus each day + $$ for lunch, work is boring and I think everyone is just on Facebook all day), it is nice in two ways: We often get out early, and >50% of conversation in office takes place in French. Also, I can actually list in on my resume so employers don't think I wasted time all summer, and I can finally stop lying to my parents.

I have kind of been lying to my parents all summer, first about the job I was let go from, then said I started this internship three weeks ago, then said I'm going to be continuing the tutoring thing I got paid for. This means they think I made more money this summer than I actually did, which considering I never got my GCI paycheck, well ...

I don't think I've wasted my summer even though from a career standpoint I certainly have, but I spent a lot of time with friends and really enjoyed myself and tried to practice reading Chinese and French when I could, but even from a non-career standpoint, I haven't read as much as I wanted to, haven't run errands that I should have, have spent much of the summer in various modes of procrastination. Despite all that, I'm happy with my decisions that led to this point, to long conversations with close friends and watching Star Trek at the $3 theater and standing in line 90 minutes in advance for free Kogi BBQ and going to Disneyland on my birthday and going out to eat and making guacamole every other week and barbecuing on the Quad and so on. This is my last summer to have fun, and I believe I made the most of it in that way.

And so school starts in a month and before that point I really would like to get my shit together and straighten out my life (byt which I mainly mean cleaning my room and clearing my desk and reordering my stuff and actually getting out that rice-cooker and pot-pan set, and by which I also mean finally making an appointment with the dentist and registering for the LSAT and applying for jobs/lawschool/peacecorps/whoknowswhat and figuring out what I want to do with my life and making lists and actually checking stuff off the lists).

What I'm really trying to say, I think, is that I'm not ready to be a grown-up because it's happening, and so that's where I'm at.



tl;dr version:

Things that were good this week:
LMB coming out with a new book
Watching Star Trek
Having a picnic
Starting my internship and hearing French

Things that were not so much with the good:
The first thing I think when hearing about LMB's new book that may be set in pseudo-Japan planet is Crap, I hope she doesn't get it wrong.
Not earning money
Realizing how much my French sucks
Talking to my parents on the phone
Freaking out about my laptop
Being eternally behind on livejournal flist