laleia: (Default)
I never want to grow old. And not in the living-forever-young kind of way, but in that I want to die young. Or at least die middle-aged.
laleia: (Default)
I feel the need to make a Public Parent Rant today, rather than the usual private one I password-lock onto my computer. This is for everyone in the world (with lj) to read.

My parents don't appreciate me. Really, they don't. I definitely appreciate them. They let me go places (within reason) take me on cruises, don't make me get a job to work for money, are totally willing to give me a car as soon as I get my driver's license (in fact are subtly hinting at me to hurry up and get my license soon so they don't have to drive me everywhere) and make wonderful food, and are totally wonderful people.

But oh my god, they don't realize that my biblophilia is nothing compared to what other kids get into. My parents complain because I reserved enough books to fill up two shelves at Sachs (the librarian had to cart in an entire cart of books all for me, and my mom wouldn't let me check all of them out, making me return the majority of them unread, as a matter of fact ... btw, MeiMei, Lois McMaster Bujold is an excellent author. Her stories about Miles Vorkisagan -- I think I spelled that wrong -- are only superseded by the two books she wrote about his parents. A must-read. Science fiction, but really, really good, filled with awesomely smart people.) Anyways, they think I should spend all my time studying for the PSATs. I may be incredibly sheltered and not personally know anyone involved in drugs, drink, or regular promiscuity, but I know that probably half of my school is so involved.

I am perhaps the only person I know who isn't involved in drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, who doesn't skip school, who doesn't procrastinate and do homework the class before it's due, who's studied through one PSAT book and is going through another, who does well in school, and hasn't collapsed in a nervous breakdown already. That doesn't mean I don't feel a nervous breakdown coming on, however. My parents really don't realize that there are a lot of kids out there who seem to do be doing as well (or maybe worse) than I am but are involved in a lot of stuff they aren't even aware exists. Stuff I'm probably not even aware exists.

I don't (as a general rule) break school rules, talk back to my parents (something that is more like an ingrained obedience complex I cannot overcome than something I would like), or obsess insecurely over things like my hair, my weight, and spending an hour getting ready for school. I have big ambitions and try really hard, and it's still not enough.

We're not making you go to SAT class, so you should compensate by doing a two-and-a-half hour practice test each day. Just because none of your friends at school are studying for the PSAT/SAT, doesn't mean that none of the smart people are. Just because statistics show that too many high school students spiral into an oblivion of sex, drugs, and alcohol doesn't mean we're going to let that one time we catch you reading when we think you should be doing homework go.

You know, I used to brag about my good grades to my parents, but what's the point anymore? Sure, I got an 83 out of 88 on my first Honors Physics test which is very good (what, four or five people did better than me in her classes, and this is a class with juniors and seniors?), and I got a 100% on my American Constitution test (required to pass high school) plus 3% out of 4 % extra credit, which is the best score in all of the teacher's Governemnt tests, but you know, what's the point of telling my parents?

Why didn't you do better?

Tch, and my mom thinks that I'm moody lately because something's wrong at school. Things are going well at school, I'm moody because I'm an adolescent teenager (and I think that is a perfect excuse) and because I think that no matter what I do, you guys won't be happy.

laleia

P.S. I have figured out that I'm technologically inept. Very technologically inept.

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